literature

To My Best Friend

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ItaNaruYAOIFan's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

I know you're angry with me
I can see it in your texts,
The way you act now.
I can't stand it.
I'm sorry has now become deadened,
Yet it's all I can think to say.
Like, I'm sorry I'm so stupid.
So stupid!
How can I compete?
With all of these feelings,
Meshing and merging with one another
Creating this ball of disgust
Inside me...

How do I face myself in the mirror?
I'm not pretty,
Nor gorgeous,
Nor cute,
Nor beautiful...

How can you say I am?
When I know damn well I'm not!
How is it you can talk to me every night
Without wanting to strangle me?
Well...I'm sure that's changed now...

I wish I was someone's favourite.
There are so many things I could wish for,
But they'll never come true.
Today I wished to be invisible
Guess how well that worked.

I'm sorry. Words cannot express my deepest apologies to you...

I don't like the fact that you probably
Won't be able to forgive me
Because I'm such a stupid girl.
How can you even be my friend,
When I've done this to push you away?
I don't want to.
I try not to.

But when you say you care, it hurts and confuses me.
How can you care about something so pathetic?
I still don't know what I'm going to tell you, to say to you later.
I know I've not been on my best behaviour.
And I'm sorry.

Damn. Those seem like such empty words...

How can I tell you, how can I show you how apologetic I am?

What can I do?!

I'm at a loss...

I'm serious about it never being my intention to hurt you, to anger you.
This is how I cope.
I don't talk about it because the words never come out.
How would I even start?
Where would I start?

You're my best friend.
I never want that to change.

And I hope I'm still your friend.
Even after how stupid I've been...
Because I can't bring myself to say any of this without sounding stupid...

Dedicated to :iconsakuyayoru:
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